So YOU think YOUR better than ME!!!!!???????

This Tuesday 3/20/2012 we talked about society and how the standards that are held over our heads by society are held their just because they, as in society,. feel they are better and can do so...
WHY IS THIS???
Why is it that we can try so hard to fit within the canonical, but can never fully fit because we aren't and will NEVER be good enough?
Am I good enough for you?
Who are you to tell me I'm not??
Where did your standards come from??
So what if our standards are different!!!!!
Your parents raised you... I raised myself!!!
SO WHAT if YOU don't agree with the way I walk, talk, write a paper, present a speech, dress, sound, OR EVEN CO0MMUNICATE!!!! Does any of this really make you better than me?? Just because I will have earned a degree, doesn't mean I'm better than a retired marine that hasn't!!!! So what if after he/she helped our country she/he became homeless... Just because I will have had a degree doesn't mean that I'm better than this person that fought for me to have the rights that I have, the rights to live as comfortable as I want to live!!! 
Who forms these undeniable cruel standards??

 You see here we see a student going off on a teacher and classroom because she feels they did something wrong and disrespected her...

Do you thing she is better than any of us?? Do you think her teacher is better than her?? I feel that respect is respect, and you give it to get is.!!!

We also talked about transgendered individuals this week...
No wonder Transgendered individual are within the shadows... No wonder some students don't speak up in class...

We watched a show on transgenders and they invited us into their daily lives. These different transgendered individuals were treated so bad and looked at different from others in their schools and communities and that’s why they stay in the shadows, stay home, and stay within their own community of individuals.

Do you feel that this is right?

What makes a heterosexual individual any better than a a transgendered individual??

The books talks about pressures to conforming to Masculinity..... Woods states that males are much more insistent that boys do boy things and girls do girl things (p. 196). So now were back to this who society bizarreness!!!! What gives society the big red hat to decide whats best for you, me, her, and even him????

Who ARE You??? What ARE You?? Are YOU What You Seem To Be??

Who ARE You??? What ARE You?? Are YOU What You Seem To Be??

Who is this guy?? What is your first thought when looking at him?? Do you believe that these tattoos make him who he is?? Do you think that he chose to brand himself with these specific brands for a reason???

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE>>

 What makes us who we are as individuals?? In class on Tuesday,
 we as a class Skyped with AJ; a transgendered individual. I’ll be honest; I found it hard to understand AJ. I respect his ability to be free and to be himself.  But What does it mean to be free and yourself?? AJ expressed that he didn’t feel like himself as a women, so therefore decided to get a sex change to become/ have male characteristics because this made him feel better about himself. 

Who are they?? Do you find yourself judging individuals that you don't know or understand??

So many of us today want to be ourselves and be free from society’s burden being placed upon us; but to what extent will one go to do so?? I believe that we all have a choice in life and we are the ones that end up making the big decisions in our lives regardless of what that may bring about. My question is, what would happen if a sex change, this colorful costumes and wigs, and even tattoos were not possible, or if what we wanted, anything we wanted and needed to feel good about ourselves wasn’t possible?? Would we then find a way to be happy?? 

What makes YOU happy??  Have you ever thought about this question strongly?? Do you even know if your really happy?? We are all different and I believe that experience and wisdom give us the tools we need to be happy!!! Many people try to so hard to make themselves happy, while all the long not listening to themselves all together. Like AJ, many of us do this on a daily basis. That is, we try so hard and try so many different things because we feel these new things will make us happy, but the reality is that they just don't. Because of this we gain knowledge, wisdom and experience; this is what makes us who we are. What we show for is what makes us who we are. The book ask us what does it mean to be a man and women in America ( P 159).  Again I think this all ties into why people are the  way they are... We act how we believe we should act or we go against the grain so we feel like we are ourselves.  Society is the big D, and some of us are trying to change the discourse, while others are rebelling.

Screw Socialization!!!!

Screw Socialization!!!!

Why do you we THINK, ACT, DRESS, SPEAK, and even FEEL the way we feel today?? The reason I bring this up is because of Natalie's great input on being Uncomfortable going to the bathroom with men/boys in their with her. This comment really made me think of society as a whole and the whole socialization process. Family is our first agent of socialization and due to this our socialization begins most of time in the home; now of course their are some instances that state other wise, but for the majority, our socialization process begins in the home.  Here's my question: How do you guys believe we would THINK, ACT, DRESS, SPEAK, and even FEEL like today if we were raised in such a way that made everything we don't/ are not comfortable with today, okay?? For example I'll use Natale's question about privacy mentioned today 3/13/2012. Sorry for any incorrect names. Do you think, you (Natalie) would feel different about privacy and be more comfortable using a restroom with other  boys/ men if you were raised differently and had a different culture?? Do you think your preference would be different?? I feel that our family/culture shapes our foundation of beliefs, morals, feeling/emotions/ and preferences.

Watch this :

This video of the children shows that for many of us, our beliefs, and ideas are shaped by the foundation laid down by our families and culture. I believe that by some parents placing these gendered beliefs/roles upon children, you and I are left looking at a black and white photo when the photo is really a lot of Grey.Most of us find it hard to leave our comfort zone and be okay with a lot of UN normal-ism... But why is that?? Is this because of our families and their ways>??


Lets see what some cultures are like and whats going on in society today though these two videos.

 This last video presented talks about what our society is coming to. I remember watching a video on TED about what would be happening to the gendered roles of women and me in the future. It seems that we as a society are starting to give opinion and be ourselves, weather that be UN Normal or different. I feel that this is good and that society needs change...

This first video is quite unique and interesting. It shows that men in this culture are the ones that lounge around and paint their faces, and dress up to look BEAUTIFUL, while women are the hard workers that make a living and hold the dominant sex within the community.  Its strange to think that such thing would be happening, but profoundly astonishing to know such a thing is. Here is why I feel our cultures and families frame our perspective. Now when I say that our cultures and families frame our perspective, I don't mean were robots that follow the leader. I mean that weather our perspective be different or in agreement with our cultures and families, they still set the tone and give us the foundation of belief.


I believe that if parents, and families, and even society would just give each and every one of us a chance to be ourselves, we would all have other qualities that we wouldn't even believe we really had. The author talks about monitoring being us inside ourselves wanting to do something but doing what we see to be accepted instead. An example used is a little girl wanting to go and play outside. This little girl knows that she wants to play outside, but then thinks of what her mom says; which is "Nice little girls don't get dirty" (P 161)

If only this little girl wasn't told that exact comment... Do you think she would even think twice if she weren't?? Don't you think she would feel that it was okay to play outside and get dirty rolling around in the mud?? Through this class I begin to notice that their are gendered roles everywhere and the more people that think outside the box and realize that we are our own individuals and THINK, ACT, DRESS, SPEAK, and even FEEL differently than each other; the more change and appreciation we would see!!!!  Why can't we be ourselves?? 


To sum up I just want to bring you back to my point.
 I feel that  we would THINK, ACT, DRESS, SPEAK, and even FEEL totally different today if we were given an opportunity to think and really understand ourselves as individuals. When we see someone as different, we think of them as UN normal and even treat them differently.  Our society as a whole would be different if we embraced our differential uniqueness.  Think about baby X... Didn't he set the stage and change the game??

Touch me the right way daddy…

Touch me the right way daddy…

Have you ever thought of the right ways to touch children??  The book suggest that haptic/ touch send different messages to boys and girls (P 145). The book says that parents tend to touch daughters more gently and often than they do their sons.  Do you have kids?? Do you do as the book states?? I feel that parents and society and all other agents of socialization instill these thoughts and feeling in children. All cultures are different, in our culture we believe that it appropriate to touch children on the head. However in Asian culture it is considered in appropriate to do such a thing. Here is an article that talks about this further along with other nonverbal.

http://healthvermont.gov/family/toolkit/tools%5CF-6%20Cultural%20Differences%20in%20Nonverbal%20Communic.pdf

The article talks about how in the Middle East the left hand is the hand that is reserved for bodily hygiene and that it should not touch any other objects for any matter.  The article also talks about the Muslim culture and how touch between the opposite sexes is also inappropriate.  Reading this article I just realize how our families and cultures play such a huge role on our beliefs.  In class we discussed touch and the differences in touch between boys and girls. I remember Cassie sharing that she had a No! No! Square.  It’s interesting to hear all the stories of how life lessons were learned when we were younger. I feel that if we were raised in believing that something was okay or that something was wrong, that is what we would believe.  If we were taught that it is okay for people to touch us curtain ways; we would believe and teach our children that way of life....Right?? This whole topic makes me think of sexual abuse.  Do you think touch has anything to do with sexual abuse?? I feel that touch and the way you were raised has everything to do with sexual abuse. If we believed that there was nothing wrong with touch, sexual abuse wouldn’t really matter right; would it even be mentioned anymore??  

Why the difference??

Why the difference??

Why such a difference between men and women?? Why must we be put in such boxes that take away from our personalities?? Why is it that when we hear of a man having a disorder, we overlook that he (the person with the disorder) needs help desperately??  In class we talked about how differently we look at men that have body disorders and how in comparison we look at women. We discussed that we think of women as “nasty”, “disgusting”, or even “unhealthy” and it’s just not fair because we overlook that men go through some of the same things that women go through.  I mentioned in class that I never really thought of men having any type of bodily issues like that at all, but the fact of the matter is that they do and are having these same issues that we as women may have or be going through. Think about what you see or say when you see Angelina Jolie on television or in a magazine. Do you say Oh My Gosh, This poor Women??” What about when you see this guy?? Follow the link:

http://www.bgtrener.com/kazakapic/news/bigorexia.jpg

Now what about this woman?? Follow the link:

http://uploads.ronitbaras.com/2007/09/anorexia67aa.jpg

Was there a difference in the way you pictured them both??What about these two people? Do you find yourself looking at them differently?? Me myself, I don’t. I find that I feel both these people need help, and are UN healthy.

I feel that our society is unfair and places us as people in boxes that they can shape and design themselves.  I only say that on one end of the spectrum because On the other hand the book brings to lite that people; both men and women often feel pressured about their physical appearances (P 147).  Thinking of myself I remember growing up under a household of people that believed that too much food wasn’t good for the body. I remember my dad telling my sister she eats too much.  It’s just wrong.

Here is a website that I found talking about men with Body disorders.

 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1121529/